Navigating Our New Year

Let’s start by taking stock of where we are. We all just celebrated the New Year, friends, family, having a good time and ending the year with.a momentary feeling of hope. But that hope isn’t enough to make it come true. That’s why many of you, if I asked you, would confess down deep you expect to be in the same state of drifting you were in last year, hoping yes, but hoping to avoid rather than hoping to achieve!

If you are ready to make a difference and ready to confront the work to truly make this new year a year of transformation that takes hope and transforms it into achievement, then stay with me as I help you take stock of where and who you are.

What do they say? Today is the first day of the rest of your life? It may be a trite saying, but we can give it a reality if we are willing to take it seriously.

In life it is ok if sometimes you feel like you donʼt know where you’re going and we donʼt see good things in our life. Everyone goes through episodes of feeling that way.. In fact we need to have merit to see the good in our life, and merit to enjoy peace of mind that it is adding up to something.
If somewhere in the middle is where you are, let me help you see that it is vital to understand that if we are patient enough and authentic with ourselves we can lift the fog to begin to perceive what we need to do, or to change to experience the HAPPY in Happy New Year.
So right now, let me ask you to answer this question: Who are you?

Looking back over last year, have you been true to yourself? Do you know who you are?
Do you have someone in your life with whom you can be totally transparent with, someone who will be a genuine sounding board to help you clarify the direction and momentum you want to move toward?

I can’t tell you how powerful it can be to have that one person in your life. It could be a spouse or a teacher, or a good friend. There is a powerful benefit if and when you find one person to whom you can confess your hopes, as well as your failures, your frustrations, your fears, your confusion and your concerns so that you can remember who you are? If you canʼt do it with one other person in your life right now, you are not really living, but just pretending to be alive. You are fake, which may be harsh to say, but you are not truly happy or enjoying life.

To truly have a “Happy New Year” for real are you ready to do whatever it takes to have the true essence of happiness manifest? We usually like shortcuts because we donʼt believe in ourselves or in the Creator that there is truly the possibility of being better.

So then we cheat, steal, not necessarily for literally, but figuratively we do. We steal energy from others, we cheat our boss, our families, our friends by not genuinely being there for them and confronting what we need to in order to make our life real, so we become fake. We live out the year full of pretense so we get what we think we want. Kabbalists call it the body consciousness of comfort, giving us superficial happiness and superficial satisfaction. When we are real and authentic it takes time, it causes disruption maybe, but then real true happiness will come, and that is worthy of celebration.

Here’s my next question: Do you have someone in your life that you love? People who are not authentic cannot love. They are busy selling themselves to look good, so they draw the same kind of people into their lives. When you love someone it keeps you going. It gives you a focus. Thatʼs what you should have in front of your eyes. A reason for becoming more.

How do you achieve this? Start today! Donʼt be afraid to be you. You are beautiful, you actually donʼt look good when you are fake. If we try not to be ourselves it wonʼt be good. Why are so many of us afraid to be ourselves? It’s that old addiction called acceptance.

Society wants to be accepted, you are allowed to be a little bit like that, but donʼt let it overtake you. It’s nice to let love be our goal, but not love of someone else, or striving to be accepted by others. This year start by loving yourself. You are unique. So define to yourself who you are, and who you want to be.

What is truly important to you, where this year do you genuinely want to make a difference? . Recognize and know your weaknesses, teach. yourself how to say “I donʼt know” once a day so you stretch yourself to become more!

And ask someone to teach you what you don’t know. . If you canʼt do that you are not being real. Sadness is something that sometimes we have to go through, but remember to get out of it. You canʼt be sad all the time and you canʼt be happy all the time . Life is a circle. There are three columns in the system that brings true happiness.

You need to be kind, you need to have strength and you also have to have mercy.. And to have a truly Happy New Year, you need to practice when to use which. There has to be a balance between the good, the bad, and the merciful in the middle. We need to be honest with ourselves when we have failed to keep that balance and when we have succeeded.

Sometimes you land in a long relationship and if itʼs not really you, whether personal or in business.. So you need to find a way out, but donʼt cheat the system and cheat on the relationship. In the end you are cheating yourself because you donʼt believe that there is a way out that will not cause embarrassment, or hurt or loss of something..

Today really can be the first day of the rest of your life. It can be the perfect time to take stock of who you are and who you want to be when New Year’s Eve comes around this year. So, I truly wish you all the start of a new and happy year ahead! One that is real and true.

Happy New Year everyone!

Vital Transformation is committed to empowering your life to not only bless you, but to help you to be a blessing to others. We look forward to being part of your journey to bring in a genuinely happy one.

How do you get clarity? Happiness Holds the Key!

It says in this week’s Torah reading: “The spirit of Jacob was revived”, and then it says, “Israel”. Why does it envoke both names? The meaning has a direct implication with both clarity and happiness.

There are two forces as wel know, the male and female force, active and passive, giving and receiving. What can we learn from it? The idea is that when we are not happy we cannot reach our potential. One of the things needed to be happy or to have clarity is to be in a state of happiness.

There is a happiness that comes as a result of something happening to us, or around us and there is happiness that motivates us to bring and inspire results. There is one happiness called reactive happiness and one called proactive happiness.

What is reactive happiness?

I’m reacting to beauty, food, drugs, sex. What’s proactive happiness ? I am experience a state of innner happiness and even joy, even though I’m facing challenges. That happiness gives me the motivation to overcome and even ignore obstacles.

The Talmud says that every human being needs to smile. Why? Where does it come from? Your face! Your smile is on your face and facing outward. Your face doesn’t belong to you. Your face belongs to the public domain. We need to put an effort into what’s on our face. Why? You don’t see your face, but the public sees your face and what it is expressing is for public consuption, which is why we are always told you have to smile in public, and put on a brave face.

Jacob didn’t believe his son’s tale that Joseph was alive in the frame as Jacob, but as Israel he was able to believe and be happy. It also says, Serach the daughter of Asher was able to make Jacob happy and because of that she lived with happiness.

What do we learn from this ? The people around you that are spiritual need to be happy all the time because they are the ones that hold everything up. If they are in a bad mood the city or area can go down. The tradition is to make your teacher happy in order to keep the balance of happiness so they can hold everything up.

So how is this tied to Clarity?

What do we do to achieve success and make our life better? First, find something that makes you happy and then you will achieve clarity. The first thing is to make sure you are surrounded by the right people and not surrounded by the wrong people . So why do we draw the wrong people in our lives?

Because we are miserable and misery loves company/ We draw the wrong people into our lives by our own vibration. We are the misery and they are the company. We can have amazing moments constantly, but if I’m miserable I have to draw those kinds of people in my life. This is an important fact we have to understand. They are a reflection of outselves.

How can we change it, We need to do two things, let go of our misery and get rid of the people that we don’t want around us. Friendship is the main goal of our life. And, that friendship must be with those who mutually uplift each other.

Sometimes when you grow up you forget the young spirit of adventure that is a necessity to have so you can have fun in life. People don’t want to be with a grumpy person they want the fun and happy side. But if the grumpy side is focused on we will draw the wrong people.

Jacob and Israel is us. These names are code words for two different natures. Jacob is the miserable side and Israel is the side that enjoys and is happy. If there are people who are around you that are not happy get rid of them . You have to clean your people and and enjoy the people around you. Don’t be with people who you don’t like.

When do you become miserable? When we lose sight of the big picture. We don’t like to see people suffering. but if we saw the big picture it wouldn’t bother us.

What is your big picture? Who is around you that supports your achievement of that picture? Who and what inspires you to move forward? By staying centered on the joy of bringing in more good you increase your level of happiness and that happy state of mind will enable you to have clarity not only of purpose, but the clarity to see the next step in achieving it.

Your Parent’s Blanket

When I was young i was always getting very sick. It was a great way to get attention. My parents and sister gave me medicine and put cold vinegar compresses on my forehead to reduce my fever. But, the best comfort was when my parents would cover me with their blanket all the way up to my shoulders. Almost like the blanket was hugging me endlessly and protecting me from harm. After all these years, I can still enjoy how it made me feel, and it was just a piece of fabric!

Most of you I am sure can relate to that as you remember your own childhood. So,
what was it about that blanket that covered you that made you feel safe before you went to sleep?

Sadly, there are places in the world where people have no blankets; people who sleep with no homes, no clothing. They are lying there not having even the luxury of thinking about taking sleeping pills, instead hoping for at least two hours of sleep without fearing about animals approaching to attack them or worrying about the elements. They don’t have parents who come to cover them with a blanket and make them feel safe and secure.

That blanket of your parents was a metaphor for the merit to be loved. Do we stop to think how fortunate we are? I am sure some who are reading this right now may say, they had a blanket but not the love that can go with it. And yet, everyone can point to people in their llfe that emboldened them to become strong and independent by their nurturing touch upon us.

So what are we to do with the abundance of care we received? There is only one answer for the kabbalist. We can act as the giver today, or act as the people who in still confidence in others, starting with those we interact with every day and making it a conscious intention to be a builder not a destroyer. We may not be the answer for the most in need, but we can take responsibility to sustain the confidence and dignity of our family and our neighbors at the very least.

Our parent’s blanket is just a symbol from when we were young and vulnerable. Maybe that’s why there is such a big market today for blankets in all shapes sizes styles and materials.

At the end of the day no matter how old we become what we are looking for is to be loved as we felt as a child or in some point in our life and feel that confidence that only love from others can give us. It is a universal need at any age.

Yes, it is true, the original gift that God gave us was the gift of independence, and free will, so why do we have such a craving to be nurtured by others? It may stem from an imbalance that is seeking to regain its balance.

The concept of free will or self-confidence has to do with the idea that you are responsible and independent to do whatever you want to do with your life, however, that independence and self-confidence psychologists know is rooted in nurturing that prepared us. .

If you love someone then it is important for you to design your love so that you teach them not to be dependent on you or anybody. So much of today’s dysfunction is because someone somewhere is either too dependent, or manipulating you to be that way. Love, true love empowers.

The same goes for wanting to receive confidence building for ourselves from others. Don’t be shy, ask the important people in your life to teach you how to be more self-sufficient, or skilled in any area, including your teachers, ask them too how to develop more confidence to share what you want to study.

I remember my sons asked me to teach them how to cook their favorite dish and while i was standing there teaching them how to do it they no longer needed me and had developed the confidence in preparing their own dish all by themselves.

In Hebrew confidence is “semicha” which is also the word for blanket. When a Rabbi is given the title of Rabbi by another Rabbi the same word is used “semicha”, from the word to trust, to hold on before the person is falling. From here we learn that the idea is to give independence and confidence to another person so that they will develop on their own.

There is nothing more powerful when you know you can trust your own judgments and decisions to make the best of your life. Those of you out there who didn’t have someone to put a blanket on you, chase people who mastered a certain area of their life and ask them to teach you some of those secrets so you can be good in that area and then pass it on to someone else.

By giving away and sharing with others what can help make them whole, we store up for ourselves enduring light to support our own needs when we need it. Let the memory of your parent’s blanket be your inspiration to have that confidence.